You are your own lenses
“The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act." Stephen R. Covey
Who you are determines the way you see everything.
The way you see others is a reflection of yourself.
If you are a caring person, you will see others as compassionate.
If you are critical, you will see others as critical.
If you are trustworthy, you will trust others.
Debbie Ford, in her book "The dark side of the light chasers" explains that in detail.
In her words, "you can't see in others what you don't have in yourself"...
Hard, hum?! At first, it feels like a slap in our faces!
Well, if you take it with a "reactive" response, yes, it is a slap in your face.
However, if you take it with a "proactive" response, it is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Why? Because every time you "feel" something about someone, it is an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself. And reassess that feeling. Whether it is a positive one, or a negative one.
And if it is negative, it is an opportunity to work on it, and improve.
This is also why if you ask for an opinion or advice on a new project, business, or something daring, to people who are not "happy" professionally, they will say you are CRAZY! Or even diminish your idea altogether. Because, they can't reflect themselves in you. There they don't see or trust that "it is possible '' what you are "daring" to propose. They might want to discourage you altogether, and even, in the worst case scenario, make fun of you…
If you ask a person who has similar experiences, or has "done it", even if your idea is not the best one, this person will not discourage you. Instead, she will give you her feedback based on facts, based on her experience. She might advise against the way you have presented your project, but she won't discourage you to give up altogether, which is a HUGE difference.
Yesterday I was in my "weekly accountability call" with a group of entrepreneurs who, like me, believe they have the capacity to "change the world for the better with what we do" (a big and bold statement) one step at a time, and in my case, "one woman's voice at a time". And, the person leading the group mentioned, "ladies, you can't be a successful entrepreneur on your own, you need to be part of (or build) groups, and communities, so you can share your winnings, challenges and learnings."
So true! The same applies if you are working in a company. You can't grow your career on your own, you need others to support you.
And, based on what I talked about here - "our lenses" - to navigate successfully in this world (professionally and personally) requires us to "clean our lenses" regularly so we can see through our own biases, to be able to see the world from the other person's perspective. So, when she comes with an idea, instead of being judgemental we are active listeners. Instead of criticising, we give constructive feedback.
So, today, my challenge to you is,
Be aware of your own lenses, and ask yourself: how am I seeing others? Am I encouraging, or judgemental? Am I supportive or critical?
And if your (honest) answers to those questions are not so positive, instead of feeling demotivated, and having a reactive response, be proactive! Take it as an opportunity to learn and improve yourself.
Understanding that we are what we see through our lenses, helps us to see our own world with more clarity but also, and importantly, have more empathy towards the different worlds out there.
And that gives us a more solid ground, therefore, more confidence.
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